Who Am I?


  1. I am one of the kings of Juda mentioned in the Book of Kings and in Chronicles (Paralipomenon).
  2. I was for the most part zealous for the God of Israel, not so much as David and my father, but I ought to have done better. I was negligent in destroying the idols secretly worshiped in the “high places.”
  3. I was rebuked by a prophet for making an alliance with an evil king of Israel who “hated the Lord.” The prophet confronted me face to face when I returned to Jerusalem after our meeting. The prophet did, however, encourage me by saying that I had done some “good things.”
  4. I did not learn my lesson. I attempted an alliance with another evil king of Israel and had to be admonished by another prophet shortly before I died. This king and I had planned on invading by sea a defenseless Edomite kingdom for its gold. My ships were destroyed by the Lord.
  5. In addition to destroying the pagan idols in Juda, one of the other good things I had done was to remove all the effeminate from my kingdom and destroy their filthy idols.
  6. My reign was blessed with peace and prosperity for the most part, receiving tribute as well from neighboring pagan kings who feared my God.
  7. My name is connected with a great event yet to come.
  8. Unfortunately my name had been used frequently in one asinine TV show as a mild way of swearing. The cluemaster Brian Kelly will not allow me to name the witless program which was geared toward moronic juveniles. The springy “euphemism” I refer to actually originated in America in the nineteenth century in a popular novel. No one uses my name in this way anymore.